1. I exist in relation to love.
I love therefore I am certain. I fail at love and I am exiled from love. I return to love, uncertain of what return means. I am deadened by love, I am awoken by love.
There is nothing more achingly nuclear, more subversively revolutionary, more perplexingly miraculous than the three word performative utterance, incantation, shahada: I love you.
I love the truthful, bare naked exposure of love most of all. Because I love, truthfully, I love.
2. I fear falsehood most of all.
I fear falsehood in all things, particularly in this sentence – I am paranoid that, by the end of this sentence, a falsehood will be stated.
In relation to love, lies are dangerous. Everyone knows this. They consider lies as a kind of sin against love. But there is no such thing as sin. It’s just that true love is the truth whose nature abhors the vacuum of falsehood.
I fear the falsehood within myself most of all, particularly when I am at my most religious.
3. I am religious.
I possess a religious vocabulary. I apply it, subconsciously, day to day.
Religion is the natural pursuit of truth, intermixed with symbology and our baser desires for power.
4. I engage in the struggle
I engage in the struggle. I subsist, struggling, within the age of reason: loving, fearful, religious.
There is no life coaching to be had from me on this: you engage or not.
5. The miraculous is the key suppressed term, the miraculous under love.