gratitude is something i’ve lacked recently. instead i’ve been ungrateful, and squandered my bounty.

i feel ashamed at this.

i’ve been given so much. each step my children take forward. the sweet sounds of their voices, growing intelligence. the embrace of my love. my family, my beautiful family. the love, the complete and unconditional love i have been given. love, constant love is what the universe has gifted me.

so how could i have been so blasphemous as to create a problem for myself out of this age of reason? the age of reason is beautiful: it is a challenge, a duty, a responsibility … but most of all it is gratitude.

why would i want to turn from that age? why would i want to reject being unfolding, so. it unfolds perfectly, each new chapter of the age is divine, it’s perfection, enshrined within love.

why did i even think that there was a problem? i’m ashamed of myself. because it was mara, mara, illusion that held me captive to doubt. analysis can be mara: it can be an infernal loop, playing back upon itself, shells, qlippot.

as i entered the age of reason, i deafened myself to the mantra of love. why did i do it? because my analysis failed me, it failed me utterly: when all along it was love, simple love that was providing for me, nurturing me, guiding me, loving me.

there is no love but the love. and the light is its slave and messenger, unfolding as such, always unfolding as such, into the ages, into the age of reason.a

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